Dear Dish on Airplane Armrests
Dear Dish:
Air travel has normally brought out the best in mankind. However, as long as man has flown in the stars (via aeroplane) there has been a fundamental disagreement. I do wish I was above it all, but I am in need of counsel in the following area: aeroplane arm rests.
By some twist of fate or what not, there always appears to be only one armrest for two competing arms. I've waited and watched for this to change, but the armrests still mock me in their singleness. This alarming phenomenon also comes up at movie theatres too. But that isn't the problem. It's on the aeroplanes.
So tell me, Dish, master of the universe (note: you share this title with certain cartoon characters too), what is appropriate armrest etiquette whilst on an aeroplane? Is it divided by social stratus? By first come first serve? By some unknowing force in the universe? By aero rage? By insisting you get half of it and therefore spending an entire flight uncomfortably touching some strangers arm?
Has society failed us? Has Air Canada?
Sincerely,
A Puzzled Traveller
Dear Puzzled:
No one knows quite why the airlines have not clued in to this pressing concern of air travellers. Is Air Canada to blame? Dish wouldn't presume to say for sure, but she can say with certainty that WestJet is by no means innocent.
There are several solutions to the armrest dilemma:
1) Be the first on the flight and claim the armrest for yourself. If anyone tries to make you move, stubbornly refuse to do so no matter what the reason.
2) Design your own portable armrest, preferably one that pops on over the single armrest making it twice as large so that the armrest can be comfortably shared.
3) Buy two seats together when you travel and leave one empty. This way, you won’t have to fight with anyone over your armrest and you can take advantage of a little extra leg room, as well as some extra space for stowing your carry-on items. Granted, Dish admits that this option could get a bit pricey.
4) Offer to share the armrest with your seat mate. You take the armrest for half the trip. He/she takes it for the other half.
5) Challenge your seat mate to a game of rock/paper/scissors with the winner taking the armrest for the duration of the flight. This is probably the most practical option. It will also ensure that your seat mate is aware that you are not going to stand for them just greedily claiming the armrest as their own without a battle. Just be sure to hone your RPS strategy before your flight so you are not the sucker who is left armrestless.
Best of luck in your endeavours,
Dish
P.S. Please note that, although the use of the British spelling "aeroplane" is not wrong, Dish prefers the standard spelling "airplane." Also, Dish apologizes for the delayed reply.
posted by Dish @ 6:30 PM
3 Comments:
heh heh. Next topic: People who put their seats back the second they're allowed to do so.
I like the RPS strategy!
my dept is blocking the link to the RPS strategy. Be honest, is there porn on there?
I checked and my department blocks it too! Clearly the government wants to prevent us from becoming wise in the ways of RPS. Who knows what we could do with that kind of power!
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