The Main Dish

Monday, August 03, 2009

Happy Birthday Palmer!

In honour of Palmer's birthday, allow Dish to post this interesting article, which discusses a recurring point of disagreement between Palmer and Dish--Bono and his political views. David Byrne of the Talking Heads agrees with Dish. Palmer should get on board too. ;o)

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Dish Hearts Gowan

This review was written for Palmer's World, but Dish may as well post it here too.

*****

Dish is flattered that she would be selected to provide a Bluesfest review for Palmer’s World. It takes her back to the good old days of the guest rant. Contrary to popular belief, Dish is not actually a huge Styx fan. She is familiar with only some of their musical repertoire and basically started listening to them because her beloved Gowan joined the band as the lead singer in 1999.

Let’s just say that, even as a member of Styx, Gowan did not disappoint. His energy and enthusiasm are contagious. And the man is talented. Dish last saw him on his final solo tour before he joined Styx. At that time, he was playing small venues. He shouted out to the crowd to name a song, any song, and then he would proceed to play it, no matter what it was. The man could sit down and play Spice Girls on his keyboard on the spot and you know that is not something he secretly practiced for hours at home. That is a sign of incredible skill.

As further evidence of his talent, during the Styx concert, he was seen to play his keyboard the wrong way around – right hand where the left hand should be and black notes where white notes should be. Completely amazing!

All in all, this was money well spent. Although the set list consisted of all Styx songs, except for “Criminal Mind,” which was the best part of the show, Dish was thoroughly impressed. The music was upbeat and the crowd was enthusiastic.

One slight disappointment is that apparently the band no longer plays “Mr. Roboto” or “Babe” live because of some legal troubles with Dennis DeYoung, Styx’s former lead singer. This is too bad given that these are two of Styx’s cheesiest hits. “Babe” is definitely a great “get out your lighter” song and, as for “Mr. Roboto,” the song speaks for itself: “Secret, secret. I’ve got a secret.”

Regardless, Dish was still happy listening to some of Styx’s other greatest hits, including “Too Much Time on my Hands,” “The Grand Illusion,” “Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man),” “Blue Collar Man” and, of course, “Come Sail Away,” which involved a sad amount of confetti being launched out into the crowd. This made Dish laugh, but she felt that what would have been more effective than confetti is if the crowd had been given paper sailor hats like they were when the cast sang “Sailing” at the end of Tonight’s the Night, the Rod Stewart Musical.

Final verdict: Styx should be given a pat on the back for their smarts in recognizing that Gowan would make a great addition to their band and another one for bringing the masses a special kind of cheesy rock. Dish gives this concert two thumbs up.

Monday, July 06, 2009

New Kid on the Blog

Muzungu Diaries - The tale of my little sister's adventures in Africa.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Deep-frying Goes Awry

At Christmas, Dish happened upon a joyous discovery in the form of a deep-fried Mars bar at Brits Fish and Chips in Charlottetown. She then set about seeking out such deep-fried goodness here in Ottawa. (By the way, if you are interested, the delicacy in Dish's left hand is half a deep-fried jam sandwich.)

A Google search led her to the Newfoundland Pub, which turned out to be a total dud in so many more ways than one. In short, the deep-fried Mars bar tasted suspiciously like the chicken fingers Dish had eaten just a moment before.

Dish left disappointed but not defeated. She tried calling the Glen Scottish Restaurant in Kanata. Given that Scotland is the land of deep-fried goodness, she figured they would have to have deep-fried Mars bars on the menu. Apparently not. In fact, when Dish phoned to ask, the person who answered the phone actually laughed in her face! The nerve!

Just when she thought that all was lost and that the deep-fried Mars bar in Ottawa was as elusive as garlic fingers, Dish stumbled upon this recipe and a seemingly ingenious idea was born. KT and Dish decided to embark upon a deep-frying adventure and make their own deep-fried Mars bars.

Here's how it went down.

KT gets the oil ready.

It's safety first in Dish's kitchen (after all, she didn't do that whole Safety Every Day series for nothing you know.

You can never be too careful...

Dish tests the oil temperature using a candy thermometer...

KT stirs up the batter, which looked suspiciously like paste...

Dish attempts to coat the Mars bar with batter...

The Mars bar goes into the oil...

Unfortunately, the batter was not sticking and so, when we put the Mars bar into the oil, the chocolate started to melt and burn. This was even grosser in real life than in the picture. We then added more flour to the batter to try to make it more sticky, which worked a little better.

This one's ready...

What was left after Dish strained the burnt chocolate out of the oil (Eww)...

The end results (including the bread we used to test the oil temperature, which actually turned out better than the Mars bars)...

Dish gets rid of the extra batter (Eww)...

Presentation is everything...

Final product (it's amazing what chocolate sauce can do to jazz up a disaster)...

In summary:

Pros:
1) Dish and KT managed to deep fry without needing the fire extinguisher and Dish's kitchen is still intact.
2) Dish can't think of anything other pros, which is pretty bad considering she will generally eat anything that is deep fried (Remember the weekly deep-fried basket of mystery at the Jug?)

Cons:
1) The batter tasted like rubber.
2) Dish had to wash all the dishes multiple times because they were covered with a film of grease.
3) Dish's whole apartment smelled like McDonald's for a week.

Dish has decided that her days of in-house deep frying are over. She will leave this kitchen skill up to the professionals from now on. Lesson learned.

Next kitchen experiment: Putting Creamsicles in the blender to try to recreate the creamsicle milkshake at the Works. Who's in? :o)

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Thirty-three

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

The Biggest Disappointment of Dish's Life

Ok. Well, perhaps that is a slight exaggeration, but this incident definitely rates high on the disappointment scale. Friday, some friends (who shall remain nameless to protect the not-so-innocent) and Dish got together for white trash goodness at its best (i.e. the Rock of Love Bus finale and hot dogs).

Dish brought with her the Red Hots 2 Minute Hot Dog Cooker . Now for some reason Dish cannot explain, despite having received the Red Hots 2 Minute Hot Dog Cooker in 2007, she has never actually tried cooking a hot dog in it. Perhaps she was waiting for the perfect opportunity. And this, my friends, was it. Let's tell this story in pictures, shall we?

Cracking open the hot dogs...

These hot dogs are not standard size!

But that is easily remedied...

Dish is not sure she agrees with putting all the hot dog bits in there. There is something unappetizing about hot dog bits.

Yay! Ready to go! Two regular hot dogs, one veggie dog and a bunch of sketchy looking hot dog bits!

As per the instructions, Dish plugged in the hot dog maker and shut the lid. The indicator light was then supposed to come on to show Dish that her hot dogs were cooking and, in a mere two minutes, she should have had deliciously cooked hot dogs. But OH THE DISAPPOINTMENT! Note the lack of shiny lit up indicator light (and Dish’s expression of sadness and defeat).

The hot dogs (and bits) will have to be boiled. Now KT’s house smells like hot dog day. All that's missing is that orange drink with no fizz from MacDonald's.

The freedom fries turned out deliciously! Good work Michelle!

I was forced to eat the hot dog bits...

Someone couldn't wait to eat the bits.

There wasn't even time to pour the ketchup out of the bottle.

Kyle arrives to try to save the day by fixing the Red Hots 2 Minute Hot Dog Cooker...

But alas. He is unsuccessful. He is undeterred and eats the hot dogs raw instead. Dish does not approve.

The moral of this story? Never, never, NEVER mess with the Universe. What did Dish say? Quote: "The true temptation here is to write to Charlescraft and tell them that my beloved Red Hots machine has broken and I can't live without it and see what they can do for me. I wonder do they still have any of these things on hand?" And what happened?! You can see what happened!!

Oh. And just one more thing: Why Universe?! WHY?!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Trish needs...

So Dish's lovely friend Elmyra always insists upon tagging her in these notes/surveys on Facebook that one is supposed to fill out and tag others and so on and so on.

The latest note told Dish: Go to google and write your name and the word 'needs', in quotes — as in "Dish needs" — and write down the first 10 sensical sentences that come up.

I must say that I did have to laugh at some of these, so I will post them for your enjoyment. And, just by way of information, Dish is quite certain that sensical is not actually a word. Anyway, on to the time waster at hand...

1. Trish needs a makeover (doh!).
2. Trish needs to always be in control of the situation and her men (That should have read "menions". haha).
3. Trish needs a job.
4. Trish needs a makeover (ANOTHER ONE! OK UNIVERSE, OK!).
5. Trish needs to buy herself a watch (Yes, I can admit maybe it is time to let go of my current time piece).
6. Trish needs some help(Maybe with my makeover. Sheesh!).
7. Trish needs you.
8. Trish needs these (Whatever they may be).
9. Trish needs to lose 15-20 lbs than she would be HOT (I shake my fist at you Google and I also don't approve of your poor grammar).

And, the best for last...

10. Trish needs to come back to the WWE, we all miss her she was one of the best divas (Again with the grammar, but it is more forgivable this time).

Now, what I'd really like to know is who comes up with this stuff and why I feel compelled to participate in it.