Dear Dish on Automobile Seating Arrangements
Dear Dish:
Can you please establish some hierarchy in determining who in a group of individuals gets to sit in the front passenger seat of a car? And I'm not talking about the usual shouting of "shotgun!" and a sibling running to the front car door while preparing for a fight to the death. (Although that is awfully fun.) But what about when you're with work people or a teacher? Is it based on job seniority? Or age? What if you're with peers? Or what about if the older person does not want to be reminded that they're the oldest? Please provide some guidance, preferably in the form of published pamphlet.
Sincerely,
An Avid Screamer of "Shotgun!"
Dear Screamer:
In situations where you feel that the shouting of "shotgun" is inappropriate, you really must learn to use your judgment. Now, given that this quality may be lacking in some readers, here are a few basic rules to get you started.
1) Elderly passengers should always be given shotgun priority no matter what. An elderly woman takes precedence over an elderly man. It may sound old-fashioned, but it's only basic chivalry. And Dish is definitely in favour of chivalry. If you feel the person does not want to be granted shotgun just because of his or her age, try using an excuse such as "I really do prefer to ride in the back." Try to make it sound convincing.
2) The significant other of the driver is second in line for riding shotgun.
3) Always offer your boss shotgun as a sign of respect. To not offer your boss shotgun is to slight them and these are the sorts of things that bosses always remember. If you want to be the one considered for that promotion, sit your arse down in the back seat voluntarily.
4) When dealing with peers, shotgun priority should be determined by height. Tall people should be given priority over short people. Dish is not trying to to be discriminatory against the vertically challenged. The height criteria is a logical solution to the shotgun dilemma given that there is more leg room in the front seat.
5) The significant other may choose to forfeit his or her right to shotgun. Such a gesture is considered particularly appropriate when riding with someone who is tall and the vehicle has only two doors or all the seats in the back will be occupied. In this sort of situation, the passenger who is being offered shotgun by the significant other should argue politely for a few moments (don't overdo it) and then gracefully accept the offer.
6) When a driver is dropping passengers off at various locations, arrange the seating so that the person who is being dropped off last is riding shotgun. This prevents the driver (who is kind enough to take you all home) from feeling like a taxi driver or chauffeur. When the first person to exit the vehicle is elderly or excessively tall, they should still be granted shotgun; however, the other passengers should rearrange their seating as drop-offs are made in order to ensure that the driver is not left alone in the front seat.
7) If the owner is a passenger in his or her own vehicle, the owner gets shotgun.
8) If one of the passengers gets car sick easily, it is in the best interest of everyone involved to let that person ride shotgun.
9) Shotgun should be shared on long road trips.
Please also note that the shouting of "gunshot" or any other variation on "shotgun" is not considered a valid method for laying claim on the coveted front seat.
Best of luck.
Dish
posted by Dish @ 8:22 AM
4 Comments:
What if you have your boss AND your significant other in the car and they are both the same height?
Did you not read the part about learning to use your judgment?
If you are the driver, it is not really your responsibility to determine shotgun. The boss and the significant other would have to duke it out.
However, this is a good example of a time when the significant other should choose to forfeit his/her right to shotgun. If he/she really loves you, your significant other should let your boss sit up front in order to help further your career. If there's no real love, then you'll just have to fact the fact that you are screwed.
Well, it's no published pamphlet, but yet again, Dish you offer up a great service to the world with your explanations of life.
Maybe I'll publish a book "The Best of Dear Dish". But don't worry. I'll come up with a catchier title before publication.
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