Dear Dish on Thank You Notes
Dear Dish:
Last summer I attended two weddings. Knowing that each couple had been living together for several years and, therefore, not needing anything I gave each couple a gift certificate. In the past when I gave an actual gift to a newly wedded couple, I recieved a thank you note. It's now 6 months after both weddings, and I have never recieved a thank you note. Do gift certificates not rate a thank you note? Am I being too sensitive? Or maybe giving a gift certifcate is declasse in the case of weddings? (However, I was not the only person to give a gift certifcate).
Many thanks,
Thankless
Dear Thankless:
Once upon a time the bride and groom had one year after getting married to send out all their thank you notes. Many couples still believe that this holds true. However, current wedding etiquette cleary states that thank you notes should be sent out within one to three months after the wedding. Most experts agree that even the three month mark is pushing the boundaries of good taste.
The fact that you gave a gift card shouldn't make a lick of difference. Any sort of monetary gift should also be acknowledged with a thank you note.
Possibly your friends are operating on a false pretense and believe they still have six more months to get their thank you cards out. Since this is a falsehood that is deeply engrained in our society, I would give them the additional six months before cutting those ungrateful swine you call friends out of your life.
Hope this helps.
Dish
posted by Dish @ 9:30 AM
12 Comments:
Or, in the Palmer vein of thinking, who cares if you get a thank you note? I don't give a gift hoping for a thank you.
But clearly Thankless does. Sweat the next six months out kiddo!
Oh yeah, here's another comment from the Palmer. Gift certificates are horrible. Sure, there's the classic "Oh, they have everything already" or "I really don't know what to get them." Ladies and gents...it takes a donkey not to figure out what they can pick up as a gift. If not, they usually have a gift registry. If you don't like using a gift registry (who does?!), then don't resort to money or a gift certificate. Buy them a board game. No one gives a board game at a wedding and it's a welcome surprise.
I don't give gifts expecting thank you notes either, but I don't think that that should absolve the bride and groom from the responsibilty of sending them. Failing to acknowledge receipt of a gift is just plain rude.
Hmm...question. Let's say I got married and you gave me a gift and I didn't specifically send you a thank you note for the GIFT, but I sent you a note thanking you for attending my wedding and it had a fabulous picture of myself. Would that sufficient? Or are you specifically in need of a thank you for the gift?
We are not talking about situations like that. We are talking here about people who receive a gift and send no acknowledgement whatsoever and who don't even bother to even just say thank you on the phone or when they see you.
Yep, I totally agree. We are talking about a different situation.
So what about my other situation which I brought up and you avoided answering? ;-) I'm curious to your answer. So sue me.
It's not about the information the note contains. It's about acknowledgement. Therefore, this hypothetical note of which you speak would be sufficient, especially if the picture it contained was one of you eating a large container of macaroni salad. :o)
Is it fair to say that it was not the macaroni salad that had the strep throat but the fact that Rachel made out with me while I pretend-slept?
That didn't make sense. I meant to say: "Is it fair to say that it was not the macaroni salad that had the strep throat but the fact that Rachel (who by deduction, had strep throat) made out with me while I pretend-slept?
Clearly, either way you are responsible for your own strep throat. You are the one who could not resist eating the macaroni salad that belonged to an unknown random stranger and that had obviously been sitting out all night.
Alternatively, if you were only pretend sleeping, than you knew Rachel was making out with you and you could have stopped her at any time.
You must learn to take responsibility for your own actions. :o)
Oh, the woe of man, where one cannot stop a woman from making out with them while pretend-sleeping because...there is no real reason. We just like the touch of her lips.
Life is rough. I wonder how Rachel feels about this allegation that she molested you while you were pretend sleeping. haha.
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