Dish for a Day Wrap-up
Well boys and girls. That’s it. The deadline has passed for entries to the Dish For a Day contest. Dish received a grand total of three entries, all from members of her family (immediate and extended). Dish would like to take this opportunity chastise the many other readers who had a large list of lame excuses as to why they felt they could not enter the contest.
Dish must say that she was very impressed that all participants knew the answer to the bonus question! Good work family! Dish is so proud! The reference to "making out with everyone in the playhouse" comes from Dish’s favourite Christmas special, Pee Wee’s Christmas.
Since Dish feels that she shouldn't be forced to choose among her family members, all three participants will receive a copy of this year's Christmas cd.
Now, without further ado, I present to you the results of the contest and the answers to these pressing Christmas questions.
Entry #1
This first entry is from my very own dear maman. Dish has to admit that this almost made her fall off her chair laughing. Perhaps it is because she doesn’t often hear such things from her mother, or perhaps it is just because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Dish finds the possibility that she shares her mother's sense of humour a little frightening to say the least. (Note to Mom: Just kidding! I love you!)
Dear Miss Yvonne:
The best way to avoid "mistletoe etiquette" is to avoid mistletoe altogether. But if you are single and happen to find yourself under some mistletoe and the other party is drop-dead gorgeous, then go for the liplock and hang on. On the other hand, if the other party is not appealing to you, then airkiss and run.
To avoid problems with married people, have a sign put up around the mistletoe saying, "No married people beyond this point."
As for Ricky Martin, obviously the " Ay Ay Ay" kisses are huge Hershey kisses and we know Ricky really wants the bows for himself.
If a Wookiee already has a comb for Christmas, then the only thing to get a Wookiee is a great big Christmas cookie.
And no, Miss Yvonne, the mistletoe doesn't give you the right to make out with everyone in the playhouse--only PeeWee Herman in PeeWee's Christmas Special would do that!
SWAK
A Dish Wannabe
Entry #2
This second one is from my lovely cousin Catherine.
Ms. Yvonne,
To kiss or not to kiss, that is the holiday question.
During the holiday season we can find ourselves in a world full of mistletoe. When you find yourself standing under it remember this. If it's your spouse or partner under there with you, then a full on lip locking is appropriate, just remember that there are other people around who will see. At the office holiday party, try to keep your head on straight when you find yourself under the mistletoe with a co-worker. Keep in mind you don't want to be the hot topic around the water cooler on Monday. Just a friend that's under there with you, the standard "cheek kiss" should do just fine. Over at the neighbours you can never go wrong with the old-fashioned handshake. You might want to carry your drink in your left hand so your right hand is free for handshaking. In most situations, you could give the impression that you are cultured and refined and go for the European "two-cheek air kiss" -- it's a winner under the mistletoe, or anytime! Unless, Ms. Yvonne, you find yourself at PeeWee's Play House for his Christmas Special, then rules need not apply.
I think Ricky has come up with a cheapest excuse for a gift. In his song "Ay, Ay, Ay It's Christmas," he is continually singing about how he doesn't have a gift, and it's almost Christmas and he doesn't know what to do. So he came up with a lame gift. He wants you to imagine that while he is kissing you underneath this magical mistletoe, you are the only gift he needs; wrapped tightly in his arms...."the shiny red bow."
As for the Wookie who already has a comb, you can get him Charmin Extra Strong. It's made with flex weave fibres for extra strength so it holds up better than the regular kitten brand to help get him clean and so that there is nothing left behind. Plus it still has the softness he'll love!
Dish
Entry #3
This third entry comes from another dear cousin Jess. It was a little late, but Dish is willing to overlook that because it's Christmas after all.
Dear Miss Yvonne,
Mistletoe can be a minefield this time of year. It does not give you, or others, the right to "make out with everyone in the playhouse," as Pee-Wee so elegantly put it in his Christmas Special. Don't be that person chasing people around the party trying to get kisses from everyone in sight. You'll have more people avoiding you than the fruitcake. As for kissing style, when in doubt, go for the very European cheek or air kiss. This is a respectful, yet chic kiss that will dazzle everyone with your continental ways. It is also convenient when you get stuck under said mistletoe with a lush or a groping-Gordon (or groping-Georgia) as you can place your hands on their shoulders to give yourself ample distance or leverage should you become entangled in a bear hug. If you are fortunate enough to be caught under the mistletoe with a paramour go ahead and give that special someone a nice, full kiss on the lips. But let's remember there are other people in the room and no one likes having your love rubbed in their faces.
I am sure Ricky Martin was referring to the chocolate kisses, around which bows would be perfectly able to wrap themselves. If he did not mean the chocolate kisses, he does mention that said mistletoe is magic and therefore anything is possible. It is Christmas, after all.
As for what to get a Wookie when he already has a comb, I believe any wookie would appreciate a gift certificate to a salon. Because even after a hard day of fighting off bounty-hunters and the Galactic Empire with a bowcaster, a Wookie wants to feel and look his best.
Sincerely,
Tasty Aperitif
Once again, Dish would like to thank all participants. This just goes to show that the spider monkey Stewarts are a smart bunch. :o)
posted by Dish @ 8:45 PM
1 Comments:
wow Dish you have some stiff competition there! Thanks all for the laugh! :-)
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