Dear Dish on Unpleasant Confrontations
Dear Dish:
I have this friend who is a tender, sensitive young man. He was introduced to this girl by a friend who has subsequently left the country. Much to the young man's chagrin, this girl has glommed onto him and wants to spend exorbitant amounts of time with him. Apparently being in her presence is an extremely stressful experience for him, but he is too mild mannered to tell her to drop dead.
She asked him to do something with her on her 30th birthday, but because of his aversion and other personal circumstances, he did not meet with her. He assumed that this would send an adequate message, but to his dismay, one week later, she sends him a message saying, in essence, "Haven't heard from you in a while, didn't you get the last 2 texts I sent?"
I told him simply to confront her and say he wants nothing more to do with her in a blunt fashion but he cannot bear to be impolite or cruel. Now he lives in constant fear of running into her on the street, or even that she may show up on his doorstep. Is there some way he can ditch this clueless chick without being an AH?
Sincerely,
Trying to Help
Dear Helpful:
Clearly, the only solution here is to have your friend ring 36 24 36. ACDC has clearly stated that if you got a lady and you want her gone but you ain't got the guts they will take care of it.
If dirty deeds make him uncomfortable, I agree with you in that the blunt approach is best. It doesn't have to be mean, just clear. It's a hard thing to do, but it will be easier in the long run. Dish has been in many a self-induced predicament by being too nice.
Really, he is only hurting himself by avoiding the issue and constantly making up lame excuses as to why he can't see this girl. She is not the one who lives in fear as she walks down the street. She is strolling along quite nonchalantly with not a care in the world. Meanwhile, your friend is a ball of nerves, always on edge, always on the look out. And really, if this girl were to find out later that your friend hated spending time with her, wouldn't that hurt her feelings much more than if he was just up front about it in the first place? And wouldn't that be far easier than attempting to maintain such an elaborate charade? Besides, people who text you to say "didn't you get my last two texts" are clearly not the type of people who get hints easily.
Sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind.
Best of luck.
Dish
posted by Dish @ 9:35 PM
1 Comments:
Oh yeah, I forgot my other half of my comment. I will entitle it "Suck it up Nancy." Now I don't know who Nancy is and I don't know what her predicament was but if it was anything like this, I'm sure she would be doing herself a favour by just telling this random girl that you don't think it will work out between the two of you. Dish brings up a good point that you are only doing more harm if you just keep a) avoiding her or b) prolonging the fake friendship. Grow some, drop her nicely and live your life in non-fear! Otherwise, hire Chuck Norris as your friend so he can kick her to Toledo the next time she jumps out of the bushes at you.
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