Dear Dish on Writing Personal Ads
Dear Dish:
I have decided to enter the online dating world to see if I can find a virtual boyfriend in addition to my many imaginary ones, but I'm stuck on putting together a snappy personal ad! Can you help me write one?
Single in Halifax
P.S. It has be gay-friendly.....because I prefer to meet friendly gays.
Dear Single in Hali:
Are you saying that an imaginary significant other isn’t good enough for you? That imaginary friend has been at your beck and call for years and now you are going to toss them aside like Brad did Jennifer? That’s harsh. Really harsh.
So now that the chastising portion of the response is out of the way, on to the real issue at hand here. Whatever your sexual orientation, the key to writing a personal ad is to make it creative and fun. Don’t be that person who goes on there and rants about what they don’t want. For example, don’t say things like "If you are needy, have baggage and like to sleep around, don’t call me." No one likes to have their flaws pointed out, and besides, all this does is make you appear bitter and jaded. Even if you are bitter and jaded, it is best to maintain a facade at first if you ever want to meet anyone. Once you’ve roped in the person of your choice and you are sure that they’ve become emotionally dependent on you, THEN you can break out the bitter jaded side and there won’t be anything they can do about it!
So, since you’ve provided no information whatsoever that you would like to include in your ad regarding your likes, dislikes, personality, etc., Dish is at a bit of a loss in terms of coming up with a snappy ad on your behalf. Besides, she is of the opinion that it is far better if you write your own ad because then people will get a better idea of who you are, your sense of humour, intelligence, wit, etc.
Dish will provide you with an example to inspire you and get those creative juices flowing. Don’t forget, a key part of any online profile is the picture! Make sure your photo is a realisitic depiction and not what photoshop helps you look like.
SAMPLE:
Goddess come to earth seeks tall, hot, muscle-y man to cater to her whims. Applicants must be able to defend said goddess from birds and close talkers. Applicants should also be able to distinguish between cookies that are chocolate chip and those that appear to be chocolate chip but are really raisin cookies in disguise. If you enjoy having your photo taken and visiting large tacky roadside attractions, this goddess is for you.
You could also try to do it in a likes/dislikes sort of fashion:
SWF (but not the psycho scary kind like the one who tried to kill Bridget Fonda) seeks hot rocker who can screamy sing.
Likes: Flip flops, self-help books and 80s horror films
Dislikes: broccoli, rodents and Joni Mitchell
END SAMPLE
The sky is the limit really. Just be sure to keep it simple and lighthearted. Now go get 'em tiger!
Dish
posted by Dish @ 10:30 PM
5 Comments:
Thought I'd lend a helping hand. My friend ran across this profile and I think it's a great example to follow. This guy must be really cool.
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member5071288.htm
"Dislikes: broccoli, rodents, and Joni Mitchell"...oh priceless!!!!
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Dieta, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://dieta-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
haha...brilliant. I agree. Raisin cookies masquerading as chocolate chip are a big concern.
I am shocked that Gus Johnson is only on four favourites lists!
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