Dear Dish on Tardy Boyfriends
Dear Dish:
While we're on the topic of B-Day gifts, my boyfriend's b-day is coming up a couple weeks before christmas. I want to give a gift with a message.
My BF is always late when he's picking me up to go somewhere and it drives me batty. He's not real late, around 20-30 minutes usually but just enough that it irritates me. It's always a different excuse but I think he spends too much time in the shower.
With Christmas coming up and we have a bunch of parties we have to go to so I'm thinking about buying him an alarm clock as his birthday gift. Not just a cheap alarm clock but a good one, with a dual alarm. The reason being, he can set one alarm for the time when he has to start getting ready and the second one for when he has to be out the door and to come get me. When he opens the gift, I'll obviously have to explain what it's for and when it's to be used.
Dish, is this a good idea, or should I just get him the Super Sports Package on CableTV so he can watch every hockey game and every football game played this season? (I'll just go to the Christmas parties by myself).
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
Dish truly does not think that any sort of "hint-hint" gift is the way to go in this situation. What you need to do is sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with this boyfriend of yours.
Now, Dish understands that people cannot always be on time. Sometimes unforeseeable circumstances arise. Maybe there was an accident on the highway that backed up traffic. Maybe there was a family emergency. What I am saying is that regular lateness for no good reason is unacceptable behaviour, especially given that your boyfriend is up to 30 minutes late each time.
Your boyfriend’s chronic tardiness indicates a blatant lack of courtesy and respect. By being late every time you meet, what your boyfriend is actually saying is that he feels that he and his time are more important than you and yours. He does not respect you enough to keep even a small commitment he made to you and arrive when he said he was going to.
Is he also late for a job interviews or important business meetings? Likely not. These sorts tend to arrive on time when they feel the situation warrants it. Are you any less important than his future boss or his co-workers? If this is any sort of serious relationship, you should definitely be MORE important.
Your boyfriend’s tardiness may also indicate control issues. By making you wait for him, he is exerting control over you and maintaining the power in the relationship. It is a passive-aggressive technique. If you get angry, you appear to be the one who is unreasonable, after all, he has a "good" excuse every time, right?
Now, maybe this is not an example of the overarching ideological structures of our society in action. There is a possibility that your boyfriend is just clueless and is not purposefully being discourteous and disrespectful. That is why I suggest talking to him. If you don't know where to start, try showing him this letter.
Give him a certain number of chances (maximum of three, that's all the good fairy gave Bunny Foo Foo), or, if you are feeling generous, give him a time period (maximum of one month) in which to change his ways. Let me be clear. This is NOT an opportunity for him to start inventing more elaborate excuses. This is an opportunity for him to show you what you mean to him, to change his ways and to start treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
If things don't start improving, Dish suggests you trade this lemon in for a new model. Find someone who will treat you like a princess, because all girls are princesses.
Fight the power.
Dish
posted by Dish @ 1:36 PM
1 Comments:
Awww....
I used to love Little Bunny foo foo!
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