u The Main Dish: Paul's New Hit?

The Main Dish

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Paul's New Hit?

So, I guess everyone must have heard by now that Paul McCartney and his second wife are splitting up. Maybe now he can stop with his seal hunt protests and make some more music. I am sure it must have been her who put him up to that whole seal hunt thing. After all they met at an event for her charity. So she seems like the "join a cause" type.

How often do men join causes? Practically never. Unless you count
Morrissey who jumped on the whole "killing baby seals is wrong" protest bandwagon and refused to do any concerts in Canada (as though he does concerts in Canada so often anyway) and yet continues to wear leather because "there is simply no sensible alternative" to leather shoes. Oh Morrissey. I will continue to love your music, but let it be known that your hypocritical bias against Canada is not making you any friends here in the great white north.

Anway, I’m thinking that maybe Paul’s break up will give him all sorts of angst he can use in his song writing. They insist the break up is "amicable" but we all know what that means. And there's no prenup, so even if he isn't bitter now, he will be in the end when she takes him for all he's worth. Oh well. Good thing everyone loves music derived from bitterness (thus, the reason why I love Morrissey). Paul can make all his money back with the new hit I expect will be out shortly.

1 Comments:

At May 19, 2006 2:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’ll have to say my first introduction to Heather Mills(She’ll not get the pleasure of being designated “Lady” by me and from this point on we’ll call her “Cupcake”) was while I was stuck in a hotel in Victoria the past spring on business and witnessed her and Sir Paul going toe to toe with the honorable Danny Williams premier of Newfoundland on the topic of the sea hunt on CNN’s Larry King Live. For those that aren’t aware, Larry King has not only had Cupcake on the show before promoting one of her many cause as well as hosting in his absence.

The problem:

The seal protest has always been a touchy subject for most of us from the East Coast mainly because of the “seals are cuddly” attitude of terrorist organizations such as Green Peace and PETA with fanatical attitudes that its okay to threaten to kill people to get your uneducated view but don’t hurt animals. We’ll not even get into the views of the AMERICAN Humane Society and the seal hunt where they tried terribly to start a boycott of Canadian seafood to “choke” our economy. Half of the American restaurants on their boycott list had no idea they were on the list and clearly stated they WOULDN’T be boycotting the worlds best seafood because of the seal hunt. Yeah, I’ll jeopardize my restaurants quality for some half-cocked cause. Does the Humane Society realize what those guys with the puffy hats and meat cleavers in the restaurants do? They’re called “chefs” and the prepare food; being on the top of the food chain, some of that food ends up being animals, the equivalent of asking a vegetarian to shun peas and carrots.

One thing is for sure that most of those against fur for coats never spent a winter in the north.

I in no way condone abuse of any living creature (especially me) but I definitely put a human life before the life of a sea rat aka harp seal. Yes for about 1 month of their lives they are cute but in no way cuddly, in fact when Cupcake and Sir Paul were lying on the ice doing their photo ops I almost fell out of my chair laughing when the “cute” seal almost took a chunk out of Cupcake’s hand. I guess a photo op with a chicken, pig or cow doesn’t have the same shock value, another point Mr. Williams clearly made. You would think a person already missing a leg would be a little more careful with their other extremities. For those that aren’t aware, seals have canine like chompers minus the personable qualities of a puppy. At least pick one ugly animal to save as well so you have a little more credibility.

I proceeded to roll around on the floor and giggle like a teenage school girl when they were invited by Mr. Williams to Newfoundland to see the facts they were ignoring about the hunt; Paul’s retort was “We are here Danny, we’re here in Newfoundland!”

In fact they were 500 miles south in Charlottetown Prince Edward Island.

Tsk tsk Sir Paul, wrong facts and wrong address. That must have been embarrassing?

The solution:

The next brain buster was to stop all killing of the seals and have the fishermen that use the hunt income as part of their livelihood to create a tourist trade in the same fashion of whale watching. Being from the coast one thing I don’t need to see is another seal, seeing as the McCartney’s missed the last “meeting” a little insight, 500,000 SEALS!

Its not like Halley’s Comet or Snufalufagus. 500,000! To listen to the men and women back East being attacked because they’re trying to feed their family’s by a couple of billionares that are uneducated not only about geography but by their way of life is disgusting and they’re solution to create the worlds biggest “Sea World” or “Marine Land” is insulting. A bridege was built to Prince Edward Island 10 years ago, there is an airport, your more then welcome at anytime to show up with buckets of cash and take a tour of the Gulf of St. Lawrence… Feel that draft, that’s the rush of hypocrites coming to Newfoundland and Prince Edward Island to pay to see the seals.

I guess to wrap up this rant I wanted to say first and foremost Paul will no longer have to chase around Cupcake’s menial causes. She wouldn’t let anyone get a word in edge wise on Larry King Live and when Cupcake did run out of breath the Honorable Mr. Williams did make clear and concise points shooting her down and frustrating her and Sir Paul more and more. More homework they missed, Mr. Williams is mind sharp as a tack as well as being a Rhodes scholar. Um, I consider myself to be of sarcastic wit and with that having a great ability to debate but one thing I would NEVER do is go on national TV and debate a subject I know nothing about with a Rhodes scholar. Even reading that last sentence sounds silly! Hindsight alone would have made Sir Paul re-evaluate what the heck he was doing in that relationship with that idiot. There I’ve done it, I’ve reverted to name calling, again (Cupcake).

Hey Cupcake, what’s that artificial leg made with? It’s ok to kill a tree that helps every living creature breath but thinning out an over-populated sea pest is bad. And if you so happen to have a plastic leg, well isn’t plastic made from oil so does this mean she’s promoting the continued raping and pillaging of third world countries natural resources?

Stick to making prosthetics for others with amputees, you noble work in that area has not gone unnoticed and is well appreciated… And leave J-Lo alone!

 

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