Dear Dish on Working
Dear Dish:
I cannot convey to you my sheer delight when I happened upon your effervescently entertaining blog in the gargantuan place they call the World Wide Web! Why, your fresh and witty perspective on modern-day society's ills is precisely what we all need more of. Chapeaux to you, Dish, chapeaux, as the French say.
And so, I pose to you Dish, a most wise and omnipowerful source of blog knowledge, a dreadful question that has been lingering with me for many moons...What oh what is one to do when the very thought of going to one's workplace five days a week makes one want to retch until one's throat is scratchy and raw or, to be more precise, when stepping off the elevator every morning to face the mind-numbingly dreary innards of one's solitary cube makes one wish one was on permanent sick leave?
Desperately Seeking Friday
Dear Desperate:
Thank you for your flattering comments. Dish is always glad to hear that her column is appreciated.
With regard to your question about work, whatever you do, do NOT try to find another job that you would enjoy more. You chose your career and now you are just going to have to live with it. After all, quitters never win. You'll just have to continue to go to work each day and live in misery for the next 35 years until you are able to retire or until you meet some unfortunate and unexpected end.
However, perhaps it will make you feel better to have a diagnosis for the feelings you are experiencing. What you have is a disease. It's called Silent Desperation.
Cube life is much like Hotel California. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. To ease the pain, Dish suggests eating mass quantities of junk food. A giant bag of chips, for example, will provide a small bit of distraction from the monotony and screaming silence of cube life. Plus, it offers the added bonus of driving your co-workers crazy with the crackling sound the bag makes each time you reach for more and the loud crunching sound the chips make as you eat them. Becoming a junk food junkie will definitely dull your senses. Obesity is a small price to pay to save your sanity. Besides, you sit in a cube. No one ever sees you anyway.
Have a nice life.
Dish
posted by Dish @ 9:40 PM
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