Dear Dish on Drinks Made of Crushed Iced
Dish Dishmon:
Back in my youth, I enjoyed surgary drinks purchased from convenience stores with crushed ice in them — Slurpees I called them.
However, it's my understanding that they go by many different names: Slushes, frosters, brain freezers, etc., blah, blah, blah.
This brings up the question of what is the universally correct name for these frozen beverages?
If I met a stranger on the street, and I didn't know them, and I wanted to go get a drink, what would I say? "Hey! Lets go get a ________."
I need to bridge the gap between cultures, regions, religions and convenience stores! Help me out!
Sincerely,
A Slurpee Drinker
Dear Drinker:
First of all, it is redundant to describe a stranger as someone that you don't know. By definition, a stranger is a person one does not know, unless of course you abide by that crazy theory that a stranger is just a friend you've haven't met, which Dish does not.
Second, didn't your mother ever teach you not to talk to strangers? It is dangerous to be going up to people you don't know on the street and asking them to accompany you to do anything, the drinking of frozen beverages included. This gives people the wrong idea. Safety first! Did Dish honestly do that whole Safety Every Day series for nothing?!
Now, on to the real topic at hand...Although "Slurpee" may be your term of choice, it is definitely not universal. In fact, Slurpee is merely the registered trademark of 7-11. Dish, for one, has never used the term "Slurpee". This may have something to do with the fact that all of the 7-11 stores on PEI turned into Green Gables Convenience stores at some point in her early childhood.
According to the Canadian Oxford, the correct term in North America for a confection consisting of flavoured slushy ice is "slush." Dish herself prefers to add the "y" and call it a slushy to make it sound more appealing. When Dish thinks of slush, she thinks of the nasty melty snow all filled with dirt found on the streets and sidewalks in the winter.
Another acceptable term is "Squishy." I mean really, you would have to be living under a rock if you have never seen the Simpsons episode where Bart and Milhouse order the Super Squishy made entirely of syrup and go on a Squishy bender. This episode brings us key quotes such as the following:
Homer (after Bart joins the Junior Campers while on a Squishy high and is looking for an out): Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasels.
Principal Skinner (after Milhouse gets a dirty word shaved into his hair while on a Squishy high): I'm going to shave you bald, young man, until you learn that hair is not a right: it's a privilege!
Hope your summer is Squishy-licious. Try the purple Kool-Aid slushy at the Cineplex in South Keys. Mmmmm...
Dish
posted by Dish @ 3:44 PM
3 Comments:
Mmmmm....squishy....
I would support the adoption of Squishy. It's just another example of how the Simpsons has infiltrated our lives. And rightfully so.
Whoaaaa...that's good squishy...
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