The Main Dish: May 2006

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Safety Every Day...On Alcohol

Ok. Just one more gem for tonight...Again, these are direct quotes. Please pay special note to the one in bold. I love this book.

For hundreds of years people have known that alcoholic drinks fool those who drink them...[The drinker] often says and does things that he would not do when he is not under the influence of alcohol. He may boast about how smart he is, and try to do unwise and dangerous things.

Railroad men must be dependable; therefore they must not take alcoholic drinks. Airplane pilots must also be dependable...They cannot afford to be fooled by alcohol.

Some people say alcohol helps to make them forget their troubles, but it also makes them forget their manners and lose their common sense.

They also say that alcohol helps to make them happy, but the happiness is unreal. They act foolishly and carelessly, and other people looking on do not feel proud of them. Will they be happy and proud of themselves afterward?

A person who is in the habit of drinking alcoholic beverages, such as beer, wine, ale, gin, and whisky, is more likely to catch germ diseases than a person who does not drink.

Great Glebe Garage Sale Find

So, Saturday I (along with the rest of the universe) headed out to the Great Glebe Garage Sale. I didn't really find anything of note, but one of my fellow translators, Michelle, came across a prime find.

It's a children's book called Safety Every Day circa 1940. Now, every day we read parts of this book to help us get through the day (and through life safely). This was very timely as we both just attended a course on Workplace Health and Safety.

Luckily for you, I am here to pass on these pearls of wisdom.

Today's helpful tip (this is a direct quote):

Flies Are Enemies

The board of health tries to teach people that flies often spread the germs which cause disease. You can help your board of health to make your town or city a safer place by killing every fly that you can. A good time to kill flies is in the springtime. If flies are not killed in the springtime, they will lay many, many eggs that will hatch out very quickly. The new flies will also lay very many eggs that will hatch out very quickly.

The next page also includes a picture of two kids sitting by a swimming pool and says:

"Come in, come in," says the swimming pool.
"I'm safe and clean.
I'm clean and cool."
P.S. The Board of Health says so.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Book Review: The Hiding Place

I kept hearing about this book over and over from different people and so finally I decided that I was just going to read it for myself. This is the true story of Corrie Ten Boom, who was a leader in the Dutch Underground during World War II. It tells about how she and her family helped many Jewish people by hiding them from Nazi invaders. Eventually she was arrested and spent many years in a number of different concentration camps. She tells how she found meaning in life and learned to overcome hatred in spite of the horrors she was facing.

This book has a strong focus on God and overcoming trials through faith, but is also just an interesting story of how one family dealt with the hardship that came with war. It was a very quick read - finished it in one evening.

Apparently, they have now actually made the house where the Ten Boom's lived during the war into a museum in Haarlem, Holland and the book was also made into a movie at one point.

Warning: Do not read this book in conjunction with drugs. Little did I know that Advil Cold and Flu has some kind of stimulant in it (knowledge provided courtesy of my friendly neighbourhood pharmacist/sister), so I took two before I went to bed last nite. Needless to say, I tossed and turned and the sleep I did get was full of nightmares about concentration camps. I am sticking to whimsical and imaginative literature from now on!

Monday, May 29, 2006

Band-Aid

No, don't worry. This is not another rant about Bono. In this case, I am talking about actual Band-Aid Brand Adhesive Bandages rather than the charity super group Band-Aid.

Really not that much to say on the topic other than to wonder if band-aids got less sticky over the years. I remember when I was a kid how horribly painful it was to rip a band-aid off. I was never the kid who could just pull if off really fast. I was the one who had to peel it off agonizingly slowly trying to make it hurt less.

Recently, I have been using more band-aids than normal and find that it is far less painful to rip them off. Have I gotten tougher over the years? Is my skin less sensitive? Or did the good people at Johnson & Johnson just finally develop a new formula for glue that is sticky enough to do the job but not so sticky that it causes pain and anguish.

Just something to think about in those moments when your brain is quiet.

As an interesting aside, Band-Aids were introduced in 1920, but the wrapper didn't get the handy red string until 1940.

Book Review - The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear

This book was written by Walter Moers and translated from German by John Brownjohn. I read this book last week and I have to say, I was quite impressed by it. It is the story of a blue bear whose first memory is floating in a nutshell in the middle of the ocean. Just before he is sucked into the Malstrom, he is saved by Minipirates and the adventures begin. He encounters many strange and wonderful creatures along the way: Babbling Billows, Hobgoblins, a Troglotroll and many more. And that only includes half of the blue bear's life. Apparently blue bears actually have 27 lives.

This book is very imaginative and full of improbably twists of fate. Let's face it, sometimes translations of novels come off feeling a little flat, but that was definitely not the case here. You's swear it was written in English.

Plus, any book that contains an island called Gourmet Island, where your sole purpose is to eat, has got to be great in my opinion! Definitely worth the read and it is available at our very own Ottawa Public Library.

Favourite Quote: A good white lie is often considerably more exciting than the truth. Telling one is like dressing up reality in its Sunday best.

Using a standard favorite for site descriptions on youth.gc.ca - "Check it out!" ;o)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Guest Rant

Editor's Note: Apparently my post about Paul and the seal hunt touched a nerve. This was such a long comment, I decided it should get its own Guest Rant feature. Thank you to Handsome Pete for his humorous and controversial remarks. I also thought this picture of "Cupcake" showing her love for the seals was appropriate.

Handsome Pete: I’ll have to say my first introduction to Heather Mills (She’ll not get the pleasure of being designated “Lady” by me and from this point on we’ll call her “Cupcake”) was while I was stuck in a hotel in Victoria the past spring on business and witnessed her and Sir Paul going toe to toe with the honorable Danny Williams premier of Newfoundland on the topic of the sea hunt on CNN’s Larry King Live. For those that aren’t aware, Larry King has not only had Cupcake on the show before promoting one of her many cause as well as hosting in his absence.

The problem:

The seal protest has always been a touchy subject for most of us from the East Coast mainly because of the “seals are cuddly” attitude of terrorist organizations such as Green Peace and PETA with fanatical attitudes that its okay to threaten to kill people to get your uneducated view but don’t hurt animals. We’ll not even get into the views of the AMERICAN Humane Society and the seal hunt where they tried terribly to start a boycott of Canadian seafood to “choke” our economy. Half of the American restaurants on their boycott list had no idea they were on the list and clearly stated they WOULDN’T be boycotting the worlds best seafood because of the seal hunt. Yeah, I’ll jeopardize my restaurants quality for some half-cocked cause. Does the Humane Society realize what those guys with the puffy hats and meat cleavers in the restaurants do? They’re called “chefs” and the prepare food; being on the top of the food chain, some of that food ends up being animals, the equivalent of asking a vegetarian to shun peas and carrots.

One thing is for sure that most of those against fur for coats never spent a winter in the north.

I in no way condone abuse of any living creature (especially me) but I definitely put a human life before the life of a sea rat aka harp seal. Yes for about 1 month of their lives they are cute but in no way cuddly, in fact when Cupcake and Sir Paul were lying on the ice doing their photo ops I almost fell out of my chair laughing when the “cute” seal almost took a chunk out of Cupcake’s hand. I guess a photo op with a chicken, pig or cow doesn’t have the same shock value, another point Mr. Williams clearly made. You would think a person already missing a leg would be a little more careful with their other extremities. For those that aren’t aware, seals have canine like chompers minus the personable qualities of a puppy. At least pick one ugly animal to save as well so you have a little more credibility.

I proceeded to roll around on the floor and giggle like a teenage school girl when they were invited by Mr. Williams to Newfoundland to see the facts they were ignoring about the hunt; Paul’s retort was “We are here Danny, we’re here in Newfoundland!”

In fact they were 500 miles south in Charlottetown Prince Edward Island.

Tsk tsk Sir Paul, wrong facts and wrong address. That must have been embarrassing?

The solution:

The next brain buster was to stop all killing of the seals and have the fishermen that use the hunt income as part of their livelihood to create a tourist trade in the same fashion of whale watching. Being from the coast one thing I don’t need to see is another seal, seeing as the McCartney’s missed the last “meeting” a little insight, 500,000 SEALS!

Its not like Halley’s Comet or Snufalufagus. 500,000! To listen to the men and women back East being attacked because they’re trying to feed their family’s by a couple of billionares that are uneducated not only about geography but by their way of life is disgusting and they’re solution to create the worlds biggest “Sea World” or “Marine Land” is insulting. A bridege was built to Prince Edward Island 10 years ago, there is an airport, your more then welcome at anytime to show up with buckets of cash and take a tour of the Gulf of St. Lawrence… Feel that draft, that’s the rush of hypocrites coming to Newfoundland and Prince Edward Island to pay to see the seals.

I guess to wrap up this rant I wanted to say first and foremost Paul will no longer have to chase around Cupcake’s menial causes. She wouldn’t let anyone get a word in edge wise on Larry King Live and when Cupcake did run out of breath the Honorable Mr. Williams did make clear and concise points shooting her down and frustrating her and Sir Paul more and more. More homework they missed, Mr. Williams is mind sharp as a tack as well as being a Rhodes scholar. Um, I consider myself to be of sarcastic wit and with that having a great ability to debate but one thing I would NEVER do is go on national TV and debate a subject I know nothing about with a Rhodes scholar. Even reading that last sentence sounds silly! Hindsight alone would have made Sir Paul re-evaluate what the heck he was doing in that relationship with that idiot. There I’ve done it, I’ve reverted to name calling, again (Cupcake).

Hey Cupcake, what’s that artificial leg made with? It’s ok to kill a tree that helps every living creature breath but thinning out an over-populated sea pest is bad. And if you so happen to have a plastic leg, well isn’t plastic made from oil so does this mean she’s promoting the continued raping and pillaging of third world countries natural resources?

Stick to making prosthetics for others with amputees, you noble work in that area has not gone unnoticed and is well appreciated… And leave J-Lo alone!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Paul's New Hit?

So, I guess everyone must have heard by now that Paul McCartney and his second wife are splitting up. Maybe now he can stop with his seal hunt protests and make some more music. I am sure it must have been her who put him up to that whole seal hunt thing. After all they met at an event for her charity. So she seems like the "join a cause" type.

How often do men join causes? Practically never. Unless you count Morrissey who jumped on the whole "killing baby seals is wrong" protest bandwagon and refused to do any concerts in Canada (as though he does concerts in Canada so often anyway) and yet continues to wear leather because "there is simply no sensible alternative" to leather shoes. Oh Morrissey. I will continue to love your music, but let it be known that your hypocritical bias against Canada is not making you any friends here in the great white north.

Anway, I’m thinking that maybe Paul’s break up will give him all sorts of angst he can use in his song writing. They insist the break up is "amicable" but we all know what that means. And there's no prenup, so even if he isn't bitter now, he will be in the end when she takes him for all he's worth. Oh well. Good thing everyone loves music derived from bitterness (thus, the reason why I love Morrissey). Paul can make all his money back with the new hit I expect will be out shortly.

Prices at the Pump

So, the other night I was coming home from my sister's place and decided that I would fill up my car on the way home. I prefer getting gas for the car at one of the service stations that are not right downtown. Have you ever seen that Esso on Gladstone. It is mayhem at all times. I even filled up one morning at 3 a.m. (what can I say, it was xmas and I couldn't sleep because I was anxious to get on the road to PEI) and there was a line up.

Ok. Back to the original topic...It was about 10:30 p.m. on Tuesday night and I figured that most of the gas stations on Carling would be pretty much deserted. Some of them are not even open that late. Boy, was I wrong. I headed to the Shell on the corner of Carling and Churchhill. There were cars lined up down the street! It was total madness. I figured this had to just be a fluke and went a little further out to the Esso. Same freaking thing!

I couldn't believe it! The reason? Gas prices were at the low low price of 83.9. Now, I am someone who really pays no attention to such things. I fill up when I need to. The most attention I give this situation is that I avoid filling up on weeekends as the price tends to be higher than during the week. I'm just not one of these people who monitors the prices every second. I have friends who don't even have a driver's license (you both know who you are) who pay more attention to this than I do.

My question is how did everyone know that the price had dropped so drastically. Is there some special email alert system? Were these all just people who happened to be driving by? Also, how do the gas stations in Gatineau ever make any money. Gas prices there have been hovering around 100.something or other. Do they all just drive over to Ottawa to save money? How does this all work?

My other question is what ever happened to the good old days when the little gas man came out to your car and filled it up for you so you didn't even have to get out of the car? I suppose I am spoiled in that I never even paid for or put gas in a car (self- or full-serve) until I was about 25 years old (thanks Daddy!). And, I think I was 27 or 28 before I learned to use the self-serve (thanks Trent!). It was a very stresful experience for me and I think I only learned bc there is a distinct shortage of full-serve here in the big city and I had to learn to fit in. Still, I long for the good old days of being waited on. I miss you little gas man!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

More Reasons For Tangled Hair

This weekend I got to go for a test drive in the new Saturn Sky. Granted, the weather was not the best for driving about in a convertible, but at least there was no rain coming down. At some points in this test drive I actually felt like perhaps I was going to get my chance to go on carrousel and be renewed after all. The driver of said vehicle shall remain nameless to protect the not-so-innocent. There was, however, the squealing of tires and the smell of burning rubber on more than one occasion.

Anyway, my overall opinion it that this is a fun little convertible, although it is not really built for those who are large in structure and need a lot of leg room. A cheaper mid-life crisis alternative than some of the other more expensive sports cars for those who are on a budget or whose wives would not approve of big spending, this car still turns quite a few heads...or maybe heads were just turning because we were driving around in a convertible when it was freezing and looked like torrential rain could come bursting out of the clouds at any moment.

In other weekend news, my phone went completely wonky and was relatively useless. A big thank you to Whore Mart for providing me with a new one, which has the absolute most annoying, grating and loud ring tone known to man. I think if I leave the ringer on, I could very quickly have all dogs within a 5 km radius howling. Probably, most of my neighbours would also soon be out buying high-powered rifles to take out either me or the phone at the very least. Oh well, I suppose a girl can't really ask too much from a $10 phone. Ringer = Off.

And on that note..Trish also = Off. Time for bed.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The BIG 3-0

Some of my faithful readers have expressed interest in why I did not write a birthday rant about the joys of turning 30. Well, I thought about it, but by the time I actually turned 30, I didn’t have the energy for it. Blame it on getting old maybe...

A big thank you goes out to Ryan, Véro and Jennie and anyone else who helped with food or planning for the BBQ on Saturday. Also many thanks for the fabulous gifts. In case anyone was wondering about the fate of the Chuck Norris photo (see picture above), it now sits in a place of honour in my cube, making the dreary work day just a little bit sunnier.

So, some people tell me that your 30s are the best time of your life. You supposedly have more money and more confidence. You care less about what people think and you are more free to live. I have also been told that now I am going to get gray hair, gain weight, get saggy boobs and should invest in a cat or two (Side note: I will not be getting any cats. I don’t like cats. I am allergic to cats. If I ever become a crazy old maid, it will not be one with cats or pets of any sort.) So, I guess only time will tell. Stay tuned for future developments.

Why I Love Chez 106

The radio in my car is constantly set to Chez 106, Ottawa’s classic rock station. It has such great tunes and they are always coming up with crazy stunts. For example, recently they made Eric the Intern walk around town in his underwear with a picket sign that said "International No Pants Day".

When I actually get out of work on time (something that is becoming rarer and rarer these days), I get in the car just in time for trivia. Two listeners battle it out trying to compete to see who has more classic rock knowledge, usually to win tickets to some concert or music dvds or the like. Anyway, if they ask three questions and neither contestant gets any points or if the points are tied, then they move on to "Tool Trivia" - questions even a total tool could answer. Today’s question: Spell AC DC.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Grouch Anthem

Brought to you today by the letters M and E and the numbers 3 and 0.

Announcer: Please rise for the Grouch Anthem.
Oscar: No, no, no. For the Grouch Anthem, you stay sitting down. Down in front there! Now brace yourself, I'm gonna sing:

Grouches of the world unite!
Stand up for your grouchly rights!
Don't let the sunshine spoil the rain
Just stand up and complain (heheheh)

Let this be the grouches' cause:
Point out everybody's flaws!
Something is wrong with everything
Except the way I sing!
(Cue Grouch Choir ooing in the background)

Spoken:You know what's right with this world? Nuttin!
You know what gets me hot under the collar? You name it!
And the next time some goody-two-shoes smiles and tells you to have a nice day, just remember:

Sung:
Don't let the sunshine spoil the rain,
Just stand up and complain!
Just stand up and complain!

Baby Step Back

I love random coincidences. Recently, my listening album of choice has been "Gordon Lightfoot: Complete Greatest Hits", which I borrowed from Jennie. The song list includes "Baby Step Back", which is a song that I have heard before but I guess never really paid that close attention to because it isn't on any of the albums I own.

Well, lately I have been loving this song. I can't get enough of it. I am listening to it right now, in fact. Anyway, on to the point. The other day it hit me that something about the guitar line in this song reminds me of Brian, friend and guitar player extraordinaire. Just sounds like something he would like to play. Not really sure what the exact connection was.

A bit of background to make this random coincidence more meaningful: Back in the day, it was practically a daily habit for Brian and I to argue over golf. I feel it is the sport of the devil for various reasons that we will not explore at this time, while he vehementaly disagrees and is an avid golfer.

Now, today I was reading the cd jacket, getting some info on some of the songs on the album. What should I read about the song "Baby Step Back"? The inspiration for this song comes from a line Gordon Lightfoot's former brother-in-law used on the golf course. When they were playing golf and they lined up at the first tee, he used to always say "Either step up or step back."

Crazy coincidence or what? Ok. Maybe this is only of interest to me, but it totally made me laugh. I love when weird stuff like that happens!

By the way...check out the pic of young, hot Gord. I love this guy. Can't wait for the concert in November!!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Mmmm...

Well, it seems that being a fast food addict and having a birthday may not be all bad. Today, via email, I received a coupon for a buy one get one free blizzard from Dairy Queen. Score! It's my lucky day! Let's just hope that the blizzard-making machine is in no way like the ice-making machine. Oh let's face it. if it is, bring on the bacteria. I love a good blizzard. Nothing will dissuade me from eating one for half price in honour of my birthday.

Remember the good old days when the blizzard was first introduced and when you ordered one they would flip it upside down to show that it was of adequate thickness. If your blizzard spilled out onto the counter, you got a free one. Why don't they do that any more? Sigh. Where have the good old days gone?

Wyld Stallyans Rule!

Have you ever had the experience where you loved a movie or show when you were a kid and then you go back and watch it again and it just ruins it? Well, the revistation of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure this weekend was definitely NOT one of those moment. This movie remains a tried and true classic. And really, it is like the part was written especially for Keanu Reeves. Definitely his most genius piece of work. Was he acting or not? It's for you to decide.

Synopsis for anyone who has not seen this fabulous film: Bill and Ted are in danger of failing history. If that were to happen, Ted woudl be shipped off to military school and thus Wyld Stallyans, their band and the basis for a future society, would be in danger of being disbanded. Rufus, a guy from the futuristic Wyld Stallyan society gives Bill and Ted a time machine to help them pass history.

So many classic moments in this movie.

The scene where Bill and Ted are wearing suits of armour and comment, "hey, heavy metal!" Or, when the evil duke orders that they be put in the iron maiden. Ted: Iron Maiden? Bill: Excellent! And of course we cannot ignore the fact that any time they air guitar fabulous music results. Or, when they meet So-crates and Bill tells Ted to philosophize with him and Ted says, "all we are is dust in the wind." Or when Socrates says that the only true wisdom consists of knowing you know nothing and Ted chimes in and says "that's us, dude!"

Really, there are just too many great moments in this movie to name them all. I strongly suggest you rewatch this film. A definite five out of five cookies. This film was most triumphant.

The Main Dish