u The Main Dish: February 2007

The Main Dish

Looking for the Spoon...

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Singles Awareness Day

As you may have read on Palmer’s World , I am not a great celebrator of Valentines Day. Some may even say that I am the Scrooge of Valentines Day (ahem). I feel that this is a discriminatory statement.

A "scrooge" by definition is a mean-spirited miserly person, or a selfish person who is unwilling to give or spend. Now, I may choose to celebrate a different holiday, but that does not necessarily make me selfish.

Somewhat related Clueless script sidetrack...
Cher: "Would you call me selfish?"
Dionne: "No. Not to your face."

So I ask you, do we consider Jewish people selfish because they don’t celebrate Christmas? Are Canadians selfish because they don’t celebrate Canada Day? Then what is the difference between celebrating Valentines Day vs. Singles Awareness Day? I fully embrace the SAD holiday. I send cards. I give gifts. I am inclusive in my celebrations. I remember more than just one certain person and there are both marrieds and singles included on my SAD giveaway list.

I also respect the fact that some people mark February 14 as a day of love and romance. When in a relationship with someone who feels this way, I make every attempt to support said person in their beliefs. I accept gifts graciously and even give gifts. I have been known to buy cheesy boxers covered in hearts. I have hand-paint golf tees to personalize them for Valentines day. I have made chocolate fondue. I have given back rubs until my hands have seized up like claws. I have even baked heart-shaped chocolate sandwich cookies from scratch to support others in their celebration of the day. So what is it exactly that you people want from me?!!

Singles unite! Don’t let a Hallmark holiday bring you down! Sure, you may not be getting flowers or jewellery, but nor do you have to argue with anyone about the position of the toilet seat, the correct way to squeeze the toothpaste tube or what to have for dinner. You don’t have to check with anyone but yourself before you make plans. You don’t have a curfew!

I, for one, will not be frightened or intimidated into compliance. I stand by my right to celebrate February 14th in any way I see fit. Power to the single people!

posted by Dish @ 8:40 AM 9 comments

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Poetic Licence or Bad Grammar?

Speaking of anal translators...
I first remember being introduced to the concept of poetic licence in grade 9 English class when I had to memorize the poem "Silver" by Walter de la Mare, which starts out:
Slowly silently now the moon
Walks the night in her silver shoon.

The teacher then explained to us that a shoon was really shoes but that the author was using poetic licence to change the word to make it rhyme, yadda yadda. It was mind boggling to me that you could just change words any way you liked and have an excuse for it. In any case, I later found out (no thanks to my teacher) that shoon is actually old British dialect for shoe anyway, so really it wasn’t as much of a stretch as I had initially imagined.

Anyway, more recently, the song "Don’t cha" came along. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love its catchy beat and girl power attitude. The one small thing that bugs me is the bad grammar. "Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Without even touching on this whole "cha" business, this song drives me a little insane because the sentence really should take the subjunctive. Don’t cha (ahem) wish your girlfriend WERE hot like me. I always find myself singing along with the wrong words, because I just naturally use the subjunctive.

This got me thinking about other uses of bad grammar/poetic licence in music. One of the classic examples would have to be the Rolling Stones song, "I Can’t Get No Satisfaction". The Beatles are also in there with "She’s got a ticket to ride and she don’t care."

And of course, who can forget the excellent rhyming abilities of Steve Miller in "Take the Money and Run". "Billy Mac is a detective down in Texas. You know he knows just exactly what the facts is." Facts is??! Also, don't forget the other lyrics in this song: "this here's a story" and "Bobbie Sue took the money and run". EEP!

I think probably the most upsetting of the examples I can think of is found in one of my very own favourite songs, Aerosmith’s Deuces Are Wild. "Been lovin you since you was a child girl, cause you and me is two of a kind."

This raises the following questions? Can a language "professional" have a favourite song that has such blatant errors in verb usage? Is it impossible to rock and use proper grammar at the same time? Do they realize they are making errors? Is it just part of the whole bad boy rock scene? Actually, come to think of it, I can live with that.

However, since the Pussycat dolls are not bad boys and do not rock, they have no excuse.

posted by Dish @ 10:37 PM 5 comments

Heavy Metal Translation

Today I had a training course to learn how to use a translation memory software. The guy with the shaved head in the black leather jacket was our teacher. Turns out he used to be in a heavy metal band called Exciter that toured all over Europe and the U.S. I guess this just goes to show that not all translators are uptight and anal. ;o) I thought this was completely awesome. Learn more about Exciter here.

posted by Dish @ 10:12 PM 3 comments

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Dear Dish on Star Trek Captains

Dear Dish:

I have this friend, who I think is a closeted-Star Trek fan. They've watched all five Star Trek series. With, of course, the first two being their favourite. "Dilithium crystal this, dilithium crystal that," they say. Anonymous sources have told me that this friend hides Star Trek tapes under their bed. Along with other media.

Dish, I know that you're partial to the occasional Star Trek, as your previous blog entries have suggested. And I know that you're a level-headed and responsible adult. So my question is, who is the best Star Trek captain of all time? Captain Kirk or Captain Picard? Who melts your tricorder, Dish? I know this question has been discussed considerably in other forms of media, but I don't believe a definitive answer has been determined. Just tell me the truth, Dish. I can take the rejection.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

To be perfectly honest, I have always felt somewhat detached from the Picard vs. Kirk debate. One thing I can tell you is that I can’t stand that Captain Janeway. I mean I know I am supposed to be a feminist and I should be all "rah rah a female captain", but it just seemed like they tried too hard by putting her in there. SHE was always trying too hard to prove herself, when really, I would like to think that by the time the late 24th century rolls around we would have made significantly more progress in eliminating the current overarching ideological structures of our patriarchal society. Although, on that same train of thought, look at the short dresses the women in the original Star Trek series had to wear. Apparently, our imaginations can go so far as to envision the future, but not far enough to stop objectifying women.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. There are actually good and bad things about both captains. Why does one have to be better than the other? Why can’t we just love each of them for who they are? Why can’t we all get along? I do like that Captain Kirk has that whole manly, tough guy attitude going for him. He is more action than talk. But, on the other hand Picard’s sensitivity is sometimes what is needed. Perhaps together they make the perfect man. Side note: Picard really should have had more of a French accent rather than a British one since he supposedly grew up in a vineyard in France. Sure, they explain this away by saying that French was an archaic language in the 24th century (gasp! What would the Official Languages people say about that!), but if that were true, why does he sing Frère Jacques in one of the episodes? End of side note.

In any case, if you would like to know what some of the trekkies out there have to say on the topic, the answers are just a quick google away. This link has the arguments for both sides, although I am not sure either side is extremely convincing, especially when they start using arguments that involve the crew. One thinks Riker is wimpy for playing the trombone. The other thinks it makes him cool. As funny as this is, it really has no bearing on Picard’s abilities as Captain. If we are going to start basing our arguments on such irrelevant criteria, then we could even go so far as to compare what the actors have done in their lives since their Star Trek days. Then we would truly have to give bonus points to William Shatner (or should I say Schnapner) for his version of Common People. But then Patrick Stewart would also deserve points for his role as Prof. Xavier in the X-men movies.

In conclusion, my dear anonymous, I could tell you the answer to this question, but really, i think that would be cheating. This is an answer that every girl has to find out for herself. I suggest you get started by watching all of the Star Trek and Star Trek: TNG movies and episodes and deciding for yourself. (You may also want to watch this clip, although you should only do so after finishing the rest of your homework since I know you wouldn't want to bias your decision.) You’re a big girl now. It’s time to start acting like one.

All my love,

Dish

posted by Dish @ 9:56 PM 6 comments