Dear Dish on Honesty
Dear Dish:
I am always wanting to have the new toys out on the block - whether it be a new gadget, a new CD, a new book by the Dish (hint hint). My wife doesn't really care about this habit or how I come across extra money. To feed this habit, I sell myself for a variety of uses, whether it be for fulfilling needs of Gatineau cougars, favours needed by the opposite gender (in bed), mowing lawns, being stunt doubles in adult films, cleaning up the back room in the Adult video store.
My question is, if I'm mowing someone else's lawn and I stumble upon a quarter, am I allowed to take it?
Righteous Partaker Matrimony
Dear Righteous Partaker
First and foremost, congratulations on your imaginative money-making solutions. I applaud your creativity.
Second, with regard to your question about finding a quarter on someone’s lawn, the Main Dish is a firm believer in honesty being the best policy. It all starts with a quarter. If it is ok to take the quarter, would it then be ok to take a five-dollar bill, a twenty, one hundred? Where do you draw the line? Your best bet is to approach the owner of the property and ask if said quarter belongs to him or her. Who knows? You may be rewarded and allowed to keep 10%, or maybe even the whole thing! A penny saved is a penny earned. If the quarter does not belong to the owner, try your best to locate the rightful owner. Try putting up signs or flyers. Maybe offer a reward. Remember, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
If however, neither of these tactics works and you are not motivated by clichés, remember the wise words of George Carlin (best known to all of us as Rufus from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure): Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
posted by Dish @ 5:51 PM
6 Comments:
uhhh say you stumbled upon $10 at the library is it ok to pocket that? cuz a friend of a friend was recently telling me she did that.
James, did you not understand the whole advice?
Substitute $10 for the quarter and you have your answer!
ya but who owns the library? Isn't it me as a citizen of the municipality who has ownership of the library? ha?
What about a public place? say you find a $100 on a park bench, just bills no wallet. Do you wait to see if the owner shows up or take it and count your blessings?
If you found $100 on a park bench you would honestly just take it and not even try to find out who owns it? $100?! I am shocked.
ok, what would you do? Put posters up "$100 dollars found on park bench. call 555 1212 to claim it" I would wait a bit and see if someone showed up, if now one showed I would put it in my pocket.
when I worked at Hertz I found two $1000 bills in a car once. First thought was who carries $1000 bills on them! in that case it is easier to find out who the person was and it was returned. The second time was when I worked at Bayshore and a lady forgot her wallet in the store, I didn't open it because I knew that she would be back, it turns out that she had her Xmas money in it and by the stack it was around $500-600, she offered a $20 as a reward, but I turned that down!
So if I saw a person leave the bench and found money on the same bench I would chase after them and ask if they lost something.
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