Dear Dish on Star Trek Captains
Dear Dish: I have this friend, who I think is a closeted-Star Trek fan. They've watched all five Star Trek series. With, of course, the first two being their favourite. "Dilithium crystal this, dilithium crystal that," they say. Anonymous sources have told me that this friend hides Star Trek tapes under their bed. Along with other media.
Dish, I know that you're partial to the occasional Star Trek, as your previous blog entries have suggested. And I know that you're a level-headed and responsible adult. So my question is, who is the best Star Trek captain of all time? Captain Kirk or Captain Picard? Who melts your tricorder, Dish? I know this question has been discussed considerably in other forms of media, but I don't believe a definitive answer has been determined. Just tell me the truth, Dish. I can take the rejection.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
To be perfectly honest, I have always felt somewhat detached from the Picard vs. Kirk debate. One thing I can tell you is that I can’t stand that Captain Janeway. I mean I know I am supposed to be a feminist and I should be all "rah rah a female captain", but it just seemed like they tried too hard by putting her in there. SHE was always trying too hard to prove herself, when really, I would like to think that by the time the late 24th century rolls around we would have made significantly more progress in eliminating the current overarching ideological structures of our patriarchal society. Although, on that same train of thought, look at the short dresses the women in the original Star Trek series had to wear. Apparently, our imaginations can go so far as to envision the future, but not far enough to stop objectifying women.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. There are actually good and bad things about both captains. Why does one have to be better than the other? Why can’t we just love each of them for who they are? Why can’t we all get along? I do like that Captain Kirk has that whole manly, tough guy attitude going for him. He is more action than talk. But, on the other hand Picard’s sensitivity is sometimes what is needed. Perhaps together they make the perfect man. Side note: Picard really should have had more of a French accent rather than a British one since he supposedly grew up in a vineyard in France. Sure, they explain this away by saying that French was an archaic language in the 24th century (gasp! What would the Official Languages people say about that!), but if that were true, why does he sing Frère Jacques in one of the episodes? End of side note.
In any case, if you would like to know what some of the trekkies out there have to say on the topic, the answers are just a quick google away. This link has the arguments for both sides, although I am not sure either side is extremely convincing, especially when they start using arguments that involve the crew. One thinks Riker is wimpy for playing the trombone. The other thinks it makes him cool. As funny as this is, it really has no bearing on Picard’s abilities as Captain. If we are going to start basing our arguments on such irrelevant criteria, then we could even go so far as to compare what the actors have done in their lives since their Star Trek days. Then we would truly have to give bonus points to William Shatner (or should I say Schnapner) for his version of Common People. But then Patrick Stewart would also deserve points for his role as Prof. Xavier in the X-men movies.
In conclusion, my dear anonymous, I could tell you the answer to this question, but really, i think that would be cheating. This is an answer that every girl has to find out for herself. I suggest you get started by watching all of the Star Trek and Star Trek: TNG movies and episodes and deciding for yourself. (You may also want to watch this clip, although you should only do so after finishing the rest of your homework since I know you wouldn't want to bias your decision.) You’re a big girl now. It’s time to start acting like one.
All my love,
Dish
posted by Dish @ 9:56 PM
6 Comments:
Wow. The most non-committal answer I've ever seen.
Let's be honest here...it's Picard all the way.
THERE ARE...FOUR...LIGHTS!
I am providing a non-committal answer bc I feel that young minds need to make their own call on this one. And, if they (heaven forbid) have not watched Star Trek, then they need to get busy and do it!
Dish,
Isn't the point of your advice column to hold hands and spoon feed? That's what Ann Landers always did. Where's the crutch, Dish, where's the crutch?
SMK
Do I look like Ann Landers to you? I am my own person and will run my column the way I see fit. I've held your hand for a long time now. There's no crutch on this one. Pick up thy bed and walk and all that good stuff. I am helping you help yourself. Much more effective really.
Alright, I never really comment very much on here but what the hell: NO MENTION OF STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE. HELLO Captain Jonathan Archer.If anything, he was the better looking of the other two and I thought he was an excellent captain.
One more note: Is it just me or are all these captains casanova's (putting it politely)? Sleeping with strange species and all. Good grief. Any kind of space show is like that.
Another example:
Andromeda:Captain Dylan Hunt, another casanova. ;-S
Actually, you do look like Ann Landers. But I only remember a grainy newspaper picture back before coloured ink was invented.
This Captain Archer mention just adds to the difficultly of the situation. Someday someone will solve this dilemma. Probably with a irrefutable mathematical formula or something like that.
Post a Comment
<< Home