u The Main Dish: November 2008

The Main Dish

Looking for the Spoon...

Monday, November 17, 2008

Dish for a Day

For those who are interested, the Christmas album is well underway. Dish has chosen a theme and compiled a track list. The photo shoot is scheduled for this coming weekend. Now, although Dish cannot give you any more information about the album without ruining the surprise, she can give you the opportunity to win your very own copy.

This year, my dear readers, you are being invited to be "Dish for a Day." Submit your answer to the question below for a chance to win a copy of Dish’s 2008 Christmas compilation. Entries will be judged by Dish on the basis of hilarity and ingeniousness. As you know, spelling and grammar will be taken into consideration. You can answer as Dish or, if you prefer, you can provide your own pseudonym.

Entries can be submitted directly by email or by using the "Ask Dish a Question" function found at the top left of this page. Deadline for submissions is December 7. When submitting your entry, please remember to include all of your contact information.

Dear Dish:

The Christmas season is almost upon us and I have some pressing questions. The first is about mistletoe. What is the correct mistletoe etiquette? Does mistletoe give me the freedom to "make out with everyone in the playhouse" so to speak?

On a related note, what does Ricky Martin mean in his song "Ay, Ay, Ay, It’s Christmas" when he says "Girl, pretend my arms are like shiny big red bows wrapped around your kisses underneath the magic mistletoe?" How can bows be wrapped around kisses? Please clarify.

Third, and most important, what CAN you get a wookiee for Christmas when he already owns a comb?

SWAK
Miss Yvonne

Please note: Bonus points will be awarded to anyone who can correctly identify the Christmas special in which the line “making out with everyone in the playhouse” is delivered. :o)

Dish wishes all participants the best of luck. May the most dish-like among you win! Answers will be posted at Dish’s discretion.

Yours in the festive spirit,
Dish

posted by Dish @ 5:26 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Dear Dish on Airplane Armrests

Dear Dish:

Air travel has normally brought out the best in mankind. However, as long as man has flown in the stars (via aeroplane) there has been a fundamental disagreement. I do wish I was above it all, but I am in need of counsel in the following area: aeroplane arm rests.

By some twist of fate or what not, there always appears to be only one armrest for two competing arms. I've waited and watched for this to change, but the armrests still mock me in their singleness. This alarming phenomenon also comes up at movie theatres too. But that isn't the problem. It's on the aeroplanes.

So tell me, Dish, master of the universe (note: you share this title with certain cartoon characters too), what is appropriate armrest etiquette whilst on an aeroplane? Is it divided by social stratus? By first come first serve? By some unknowing force in the universe? By aero rage? By insisting you get half of it and therefore spending an entire flight uncomfortably touching some strangers arm?

Has society failed us? Has Air Canada?

Sincerely,
A Puzzled Traveller

Dear Puzzled:

No one knows quite why the airlines have not clued in to this pressing concern of air travellers. Is Air Canada to blame? Dish wouldn't presume to say for sure, but she can say with certainty that WestJet is by no means innocent.

There are several solutions to the armrest dilemma:

1) Be the first on the flight and claim the armrest for yourself. If anyone tries to make you move, stubbornly refuse to do so no matter what the reason.
2) Design your own portable armrest, preferably one that pops on over the single armrest making it twice as large so that the armrest can be comfortably shared.
3) Buy two seats together when you travel and leave one empty. This way, you won’t have to fight with anyone over your armrest and you can take advantage of a little extra leg room, as well as some extra space for stowing your carry-on items. Granted, Dish admits that this option could get a bit pricey.
4) Offer to share the armrest with your seat mate. You take the armrest for half the trip. He/she takes it for the other half.
5) Challenge your seat mate to a game of rock/paper/scissors with the winner taking the armrest for the duration of the flight. This is probably the most practical option. It will also ensure that your seat mate is aware that you are not going to stand for them just greedily claiming the armrest as their own without a battle. Just be sure to hone your RPS strategy before your flight so you are not the sucker who is left armrestless.

Best of luck in your endeavours,
Dish

P.S. Please note that, although the use of the British spelling "aeroplane" is not wrong, Dish prefers the standard spelling "airplane." Also, Dish apologizes for the delayed reply.

posted by Dish @ 6:30 PM 3 comments