u The Main Dish: June 2007

The Main Dish

Looking for the Spoon...

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Dear Dish on Dating Bon Jovi Style

Dish, what are your thoughts on meeting random people vs. meeting random people through friends in terms of dating? Clearly, everyone would love to meet someone through their friends as it's like they've already passed a pre-screening test, but is there anything wrong with meeting random people and just applying the pre-screening test? When speaking about meeting random people, I am referring to using methods such as public dances, bowl-athons, joining a gang, online dating, speed dating, and the ever popular hot dog eating contests.

As a follow-up...why am I scared to hear that someone isn't interested in me? Clearly, I deliver that message to countless women every day who have their hearts broken when I say "No." to them. Why can't I accept some of my own bad medicine (any Bon Jovi themed answer would be appreciated here).

Sincerely,
Name withheld

Dear Sir:

It seems the possibilities for meeting people these days are endless. Personally, of all the options you listed above, I would think the best one would be the hot dog eating contest. At least that way you are assured that you aren’t going to end up with some sketchy vegetarian type. Might I also be so bold as to add "air guitar contest" to your list of viable places to meet a cool potential mate.

When it comes to meeting people through friends or meeting people randomly, I say do whatever works. You can meet some crazies either way. Although meeting people through friends can be considered a pre-screening tactic, you have to keep in mind that sometimes people act differently in a friendship situation than they do in a relationship situation. The friend pre-screen, while sometimes effective, can often lead you astray.

Really, the absolute best way to screen someone is to develop your own set of criteria. Get to know the person and use your gut instincts. It may also help to tell a trusted neutral friend with good judgement some things about the person. Hopefully your friend will be honest with you and tell you if your new main squeeze is a dud.

In reponse to your follow-up question, we all fear rejection. It's completely normal. I guess it’s because we’ve seen love come, we’ve seen it shot down, we’ve seen it die in vain. I mean really, raise your hands if you want your secret dreams shot down in a blaze of glory. Any takers? I didn’t think so.

Even so, love is like a hunger — without it we would starve. And nothing would mean nothing without love. So don’t runaway from it. Put yourself out there. Tell the person about your feelings. Or, if you know them through a friend, get the friend to hook you up. If that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes. What do you have to lose? These days, it’s all about taking risks, being wild in the streets. It’s your life afterall.

And who knows? Maybe through your act of courage, you’ll find the one to whom you will never say goodbye, the one with whom you will spend the next 100 years. And you’ll be able to say "I got the girl!" and maybe even put a diamond ring on her finger.

I believe that the only thing to fear is fear itself. Besides, if it doesn’t work out, you can always find something for the pain. Maybe some bitter wine, novocaine, a last cigarette, or a bar that’s open all night. It’s all right if you have a good time!

Besides, even if this person doesn’t turn out to be your true love, you might get one wild night where you get as close as the holy ghost is.

Regardless, before taking any action, just be forewarned that you can’t hide when the infection starts, because love is a social disease. That’s the price of love.

Keep the faith.

Dish

Side note: Contest! The person who comes closest to identifying all of the references to JonBon song titles and lyrics in Dish's response to the follow-up question will win a copy of Dish's new Christmas compilation, scheduled for release later this year. Contest closing date is Friday, July 6, 2007 at 15:30 p.m. EST. Please send your answers to Dish directly by e-mail. One entry per person. A skill-testing question of Dish's choosing will be administered in the event of a tie.

posted by Dish @ 11:56 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Dear Dish:

I have this pair of shorts that turn my underwear green.
How can I wash them so that they won't bleed anymore?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

You should only wash these shorts with like colours, in other words, put them in the dark wash. Another helpful hint is to add some vinegar to the wash. Put your laundry detergent into the washer and turn it on. When the washer is partially filled with water, add a bit of vinegar and swish it around. Throw in your clothes and let the wash cycle continue as normal. This should help stop the colour bleeding.

Dish

posted by Dish @ 4:27 PM 1 comments

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Dear Dish on Dreams

Dear Dish:

here's my question

i have heard that to believe in one's dreams is a manifestation of insanity

should i try to realise my dreams?

or should i give up and die slowly at the centre of my own dismal organization

anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

First of all, I think that it is important that you work on your English-language skills. You cannot expect to achieve your dreams before you learn the rules of capitalization.

However, to shed more light on the matter, I will quote the famous words of Doug and Steve Butabi (yes, they are brothers) from Night at the Roxbury:


Doug: You can take away our phones and you can take away our keys, but you can NOT take away our dreams.

Steve: Yeah, because we're, like, sleeping when we have them.

Hope this helps.

Dish

posted by Dish @ 7:43 PM 2 comments

Dear Dish on Daily Shampooing/Girlfriends

Dear Dish:

I think shampooing your hair everyday does more damage then good. Once a month washing is more then enough.

Can you help me with why I can't keep a girlfriend?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

Personal hygiene is important. Once a month hair washing is not enough! Girls like men who look and smell clean. Just like we need to keep our handkerchiefs clean and ironed in order to put safety first (for more on this topic please refer to various posts from May and June 2006), we must also keep our hair clean and free of grease.

If washing your hair is too much trouble for you, there is always the shaved head approach. Not only will this cut down on washing time and reduce shampoo-related dilemmas, it will also attract a certain type of girl who is intrigued by the idea of touching your head.

Good luck.

Dish

posted by Dish @ 7:39 PM 1 comments

Go Sens Go?

So last night a bunch of us headed out on the town to catch some play-off action. First we wandered up to City Hall, only to find that the advertised "big screens" really weren’t so big and there was a very small crowd of fans.

So, thinking there was no way we would find a place to sit on Sens Mile, we headed down into the market. I was actually surprised to find that we easily found seats for a large group at the second place we tried. Then I remembered that I live in Ottawa.

By the time we got settled the game was already in the second period and things were not looking good.

We ordered some nachos, which, sadly, were stale and way too salty and settled in to watch the game.

Highlights of the evening included Caroline chanting "Alfie, Alfie, Alfie" with her whole heart and soul along with the crowd at the bar and then leaning over and whispering to me, "who’s Alfie?"; discussing the pros of cons of agreeing to be your brother’s "significant other" to get free air fare; and discovering that the perfect woman is really not the perfect woman after all and exactly why she no longer holds the title.

But really, the crowning moment of the entire evening was the carriage ride home. Yes, you heard me right. We were heading home after the disappointing loss, feeling dejected and trying to decide whether to walk or grab a cab. When, what should we see but the Sens chariot (i.e. a horse-drawn carriage with the horse draped in a Sens flag). We knew what we had to do.

For a mere $50, the seven of us piled into the carriage and were transported from the market back up to the Sens mile. The Sens chariot also came complete with its very own furry little dog friend. Andrew, who sat up front with the driver (coach man?), got to hold said furry friend the entire trip.

I was just commenting to the others in the carriage with me, that the funniest thing about the trip would be if someone were to tell you the next day that they saw you driving about in the carriage. No sooner were the words out of my mouth, then we glided by a large group of people I know. Now, instead of hiding my face as a reasonable person would have done (oh dear...did I just use an EI decision phrase in my daily speech?!), we waved shouted, etc.

Shortly after, we were dropped at the nearest McDonald’s, which just added a touch of class to the whole adventure.

Maybe this is a "had to be there" funny story, but the pictures make it better. I will be posting them on my Facebook account later this evening, so feel free to check them out.

Random side note: Instead of telling people to say "cheese" when I take their picture now, I say "Do it for Facebook!" ;o)

posted by Dish @ 7:33 PM 0 comments

Restaurant Review - Rideau-Carleton Raceway

Tuesday night I headed out to the Rideau-Carleton Raceway for the first time to check out their all-you-can-eat buffet. Now, I know what you are thinking: "But Dish, you hate the buffet." And yes, while I admit that buffets are not my favourite thing (hot foods hot and cold foods cold, people!), this one was actually decent. Plus, maybe it is time to shake things up a bit. Whatever happened to the carefree dish who would stretch her stomach with water so that she could fit in more food at the all-you-can-eater? Let's bring her back!

Things were clean and their was a lot of people so there was a high turnover of food. That means less chance for food borne illnesses because the food is not sitting out at prime bacteria growing temperatures for long periods of time.

On that note, let me describe the deal for you. From Monday to Wednesday the buffet is only $9.99 (the price goes up Thursdays and on the weekend to $19.99...although supposedly they add prime rib).

Granted the food is not the BEST EVER, but you don’t go to a buffet for quality. It’s quantity all the way. And quantity there is. These are all the dishes that I can remember:

Tons of make your own green salad fixings
Pasta salad
A couple of different kinds of soup
Fried shrimp
Chicken fingers
Pasta in a bolognaise sauce
Steamed veggies
French fries
Rice
Garlic rosemary potatoes
Meatballs
Sausage
Ham (with a servant boy to slice it)
Roast beef (same deal)

Then for dessert:
Apple crisp
A sundae bar where another servant boy will make you a banana split type deal (strawberry and vanilla ice cream; strawberry, chocolate (delicious!), and caramel sauces, whipped cream, bananas)
Peanut butter squares
Chocolate cake
Chocolate mousse
Some kind of pecan square
Fruit trifle
Cheesecake tarts
Butter tarts
About 5 kinds of cookies.

Really, for $9.99, you can't go wrong. As for atmosphere, well, don’t expect anything too fancy. The place is big. And crowded. And full of senior citizens. And they were pushy. Really. Don’t get in the way of grandma and her dinner!

In terms of buffets, this place gets 3.5 out of 5 plates of food. Definitely worth at least one trip to try it.

posted by Dish @ 7:29 PM 0 comments